Category Archive

Head on over to Mama C-ta to get the answers to all those questions that have been burning your soul. Cara has laid it all out there with the wittiest list of responses to all of the NIP (nursing in public) questions we’re all so tired of hearing.

I was honored to be invited to participate in April’s “Carnival of Breastfeeding” on the Motherwear blog. This month’s topic: “What I Didn’t Expect When I was Expecting”…

While I was pregnant I thought about breastfeeding a lot. I’d only seen a handful of nursing babes in my time, but knew that when it was my time, I’d nurse. I didn’t seem like a choice to me. There was no question of if I should breastfeed, simply that I would, no matter what it took. And so I read and read and asked questions galore. But more than anything I dreamed. The thought of nourishing my child, of providing all the sustenance he’d need seemed like such a glorious thing. I played this scene over and over in my mind- of giving birth to my child and bringing him to my breast for the first time, that moment of purity and grace and connection… drinking each other in…

As we know it is a rare occasion that reality matches that which we’ve dreamed. And my dreams were a far cry from the reality of our first days, our first weeks really. But the joy I feel every time I nurse my baby is beyond anything I could have imagined. Breastfeeding my son is one of the most amazing (and rewarding) things I have ever done. So let’s start from the beginning…

Due to Xavier’s prematurity (born spontaneously at 28 weeks, 1 day) he went without food for quite some time. An IV concoction was enough to keep him going until his digestive system was developed enough to get things through. Leaving me to pump (what fun hospital grade breast pumps are!) and store my milk until he was ready. Soon, little by little milk was gavage (tube) fed straight into his little tummy and as he was able to keep down more and more it became time for that glorious first nursing session right? Wrong! The neonatologist insisted he needed to learn how to eat from a bottle first! What?! Even though I planned to nurse exclusively?! No way!? We put up a huge fight, and after a few tears (ok LOTS of tears) and staunch resistance we won the fight. He said we could “try” nursing… once…

Xavier was able to nurse for the first time at 26 days old (It was 4:00pm on Monday, January 9, 2006 to be exact!) Despite the doctor’s “medical opinion” and the hilarity of the size of his head compared to the size of my breast, my little man latched on perfectly and began chowing down … he lasted a few minutes before falling fast asleep still attached to me. I was all tears as I sat there and savored our moment I had longed and waited for. (David was so proud he excused himself to go call our family and friends! )

Because he was so small we had to take it slow, the calories he burned working to nurse were just barely canceled out by what he took in. He had been ‘fed’ on a 3 hour schedule so we gradually worked from substituting nursing every few feedings to nursing every 3 hours, to feeding on demand. It was a long time coming and wasn’t without hiccups but I loved every second of it. His belly on mine, his little eye’s fluttering, working so hard to suck and swallow and breathe.

What once was hard work is now second nature and while commonplace still spectacular. The best excuse to stop everything and snuggle up together. As we begin he now looks into my eyes with thanks and love. Slowly they become foggy and heavy, until inevitably they flutter closed. About this time a little chubby hand bounces around finding first my fingers, then my chest, until usually it rests softly on my cheek or chin. If we’re lying down he kicks his legs off my belly and then scoots himself in to just the right spot. I get lost in the rhythm of suck and swallow and begin to melt away.

I am still amazed that every ounce of chub on my darling boy has come from me. I am his sustenance. God gave me the ability to provide him with everything he needs! And while nursing provides nourishment for his belly it nourishes the spirit as well. If Xavier’s hurting or sleepy or simply missing me he’ll put his mouth to my chest or tug at my shirt and he’s back to his happy place. And if I’m having one of those day’s where my thoughts are scattered and I feel like I’m missing something it’s a wonderful time to reconnect.

16 months later, we’re still a happily nursing pair, and hope to remain that way for as long as X would like. It is amazing to see how this thing I thought I was doing for my baby has in fact done so much for me. Not only has this special relationship provided such validation and love, but has brought with it nourishment and sustenance for me. I relish every moment. And realize it for the gift it is.

Others contributing include:
Breastfeeding Mums
Spit up on my Shoulder
Breastfeeding 1-2-3
Adventures of a Breastfeeding Mother
The True Face of Birth
Down With the Kids
The Spice Choir
Mama Know Breast

Baby talk makes me gag. When adults do it anyway. And so we’ve never had cutesy pet names for anything in out house. (I won’t deny, however, that the majority of words in my vocabulary now end in “y” ex. potty, lovey, ducky- you get the picture)

As far back as I can remember when it’s feeding time at the zoo I’ve simply asked Xavier “Would you like to nurse?” or “Would you like some milk?” or used our sign for such (fist open and closed). And once he was able, he’d come up to me with that grin and those hungry eyes, signing away. Until a couple of weeks ago when X snuggled up to me and tried to make his way under my shirt chanting “nonny! nonny! nonny!” It was pretty obvious what he meant by “nonny” and so incredibly cute. Needless to say I’ve embraced my our new code word. (I have a friend whose daughter asks for “boobies” so I’m definitely alright with the nonny!)

And now that I’m nursing a toddler, our milky moniker has come in handy- more than once. Don’t get me wrong I will nurse anytime, anywhere but I’ve entered the world of a boy who mid flirtation with the airline clerk decides to thrust his hand down my shirt, grab a handful and attempt to latch on with or without clothing in the way. (What happened to signing?!) In such an event, his coy “nonny?” elicits the response of “Oh, how sweet, is that what he calls his Grandma?” Um… sure. yes. Yes, it is! I’ll take that over “the look” any day.

So I’m curious, do you have a covert nursing name? Did your nursling come up with it or you?

3 short days until the big first B-day, I am amazed (and a bit offended) by the sudden onslaught of people asking just when I plan to stop nursing Xavier. Most have been surprisingly direct and then there are the few, who were formerly very supportive of my nursing that now look away uncomfortable or make subtle suggestions of “covering up” (while I’m already covered up!). So for the record: I plan on nursing by my darling boy until it is no longer mutually beneficial (i.e. - he will be weaning himself!)

I don’t know why this is even an issue. Maybe because in our bottle feeding culture most are instructed to wean baby from the bottle at 1 year- which is because formula has no real nutritional benefit after that point (although I have noticed a bunch of new ‘toddler’ formula’s popping up). But breast milk is NOT formula people!

And if you don’t want to take my word for it, here are some handy facts for you: (source: KellyMom)

Nursing toddlers benefit NUTRITIONALLY:

• Although there has been little research done on children who breastfeed beyond the age of two, the available information indicates that breastfeeding continues to be a valuable source of nutrition and disease protection for as long as breastfeeding continues.
• Breast milk continues to provide substantial amounts of key nutrients well beyond the first year of life, especially protein, fat, and most vitamins.
• In the second year (12-23 months) 448mL of breast milk provides: 29% of energy requirements, 43% of protein requirements, 36% of calcium requirements, 75% of vitamin A requirements, 76% of folate requirements, 94% of vitamin B12 requirements and 60% of vitamin C requirements.
• It’s not uncommon for weaning to be recommended for toddlers who are eating few solids. However this recommendation is not supported by research.
• Some doctors may feel nursing will interfere with a child’s appetite for other foods. Yet there has been no documentation that nursing children are more likely that weaned children to refuse supplementary foods. In fact, most researchers in Third World countries, where a malnourished toddler’s appetite may be of critical importance, recommend continued nursing for even the severely malnourished. Most suggest helping the malnourished older nursing child not by weaning but by supplementing the mother’s diet to improve the nutritional quality of her milk and by offering the child more varied and more palatable foods to improve his or her appetite.

Nursing toddlers are SICK LESS OFTEN:

• The American Academy of Family Physicians notes that children weaned before two years are at increased risk of illness
• Nursing toddlers between the ages of 16 and 30 months have been found to have fewer illnesses and illnesses of shorter duration than their non-nursing peers.
• Antibodies are abundant in human milk throughout lactation. In fact, some of the immune factos in breast milk increase in concentration during the second year and also during the weaning process.
• Per the World Health Organization, “a modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under five: Breastfeeding plays and essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness”

Nursing toddlers are SMART

• Extensive research on the relationship between cognitive achievement and breastfeeding has shown the greatest gains for those children breastfed the longest.

Nursing toddlers have FEWER ALLERGIES

• Many studies have shown that one of the best ways to prevent allergies and asthma is to breastfeed exclusively for at least 6 months and to continue breastfeeding long-term after that point. Breastfeeding can be helpful in preventing allergy by:

1. reducing exposure to potential allergens (when baby is exposed later, allergic reactions are less likely)
2. speeding maturation of the protective barrier in the baby’s intestines,
3. coating the gut and providing a barrier to potentially allergenic molecules
4. providing anti-inflammatory properties that reduce the risk of infections (which can act as allergy triggers).

Nursing toddlers are WELL ADJUSTED SOCIALLY

• One study that dealt specifically with babies nursed longer than a year showed a significant link between the duration of nursing and mothers’ and teachers’ ratings of social adjustment in six-to-eight-year-old children. In the words of teh researchers ‘There are statistically significant tendencies for conduct disorder scores to decline with increasing duration and breastfeeding’.
• Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.

Nursing a toddler is NORMAL

• The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychological or developmental harm form breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer”.
• The American Academy of Family Physicians recommends that breastfeeding continue throughout the first year of life and that “Breastfeeding beyond the first year offers considerable benefits to both mother and child, and should continue as long as mutually desired.” They also note “If the child is younger than two years of age, the child is at increased risk of illness if weaned.”
• A US Surgeon General has stated that it is lucky a baby who continues to nurse until age two.
• The WHO and UNICEF emphasize the importance of nursing up to two years of age or beyond.
• Scientific research by Katherine A Dettwyler, PhD shows that 2.5 to 7.0 years of nursing is what our children have been designed to expect.

MOTHERS also benefit from nursing past infancy

• Extended nursing delays the return of fertility in some women by suppressing ovulation
• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of breast cancer. Studies have found a significant inverse association between duration of lactation and breast cancer risk.
• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of ovarian cancer
• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of uterine cancer
• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of endometrial cancer
• Breastfeeding reduces the risk of rheumatoid arthritis
• Breastfeeding has been shown to decrease insulin requirements in diabetic women
• Breastfeeding mothers tend to loose weight easier
• Breastfeeding protects against osteoporosis

And if all that isn’t enough, adjusted for prematurity X is only 9 months, so put your opinions and looks on the back burner for a few more months!